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08 October 2009

SPOUSE ABUSE- SAY 'NO' AND DONT'T ACCEPT IT

It is amazing to take note that some spouses engage violently with each other. Is the partner a third person and stranger? You have entered into marital relationship very well knowing who your partner is going to be. When the relationship blossoms and grows, where you expose and fully make know to the other about your dreams, ideas, plans, likes and dislikes, where is the necessacity to engage in violance? to put across ypur interests, unless something is wrong deep in your mind. Dominance in marriage does not find a place, since both the partners are equally responsible for their acts and to children they bring up. We are suppose to be 'civilans' and to be 'civil'. When we are civil, violance takes back seat.

Any difference of opinion in any matter, has to be sorted out in a gentle manner and to be made known understandable by the other partner, why you prefer it to be as per your liking. when the pluses and minuses are amicable discussed in an open frame of mind, the arugument with more pluses will be automatically be accepted by both of them. It is necessary that understanding and as well as the ciecumstances that both are in, has to determine the outcome of that arugument. If this is the case both partners are pleased and they come to know that the decision they take is the best for both of them and their family.

Violance occurs when there is mismatch in the spouses, or, when one begins or wants to domonate the other, or sometimes to please their ego, or to terroise the other partner. Broadly abuse in a marital relationship can be of four types. Such as Sexual abuse, Verbal abuse, Physical abuse and emotional abuse.

a) Sexual Abuse: Where one , dominant, partner engages in marital rape, forcing the partner to engage in perverse sexual acts

b)Verbal Abuse: Where the abuser constantly resorts to using foul and vulgar dialects while shouting at the other.

c)Physical Abuse: One pertner slaps, beates, hits or kicks the other.



d)Emotional abuse: One belittles the other by insults, threats and intellectual battering.

the best thing to be to stop this spouse abuse in a marital rlationship, if when counsalling by relatives and by those ebgaged in trating such people does not yeild any psitive result, is to take recourse to the law. Stand up and say NO to this abuse.

Many might be lucky to bring a change in the abuser, when the abuser realises that the abused is up against him like a wall and that he has no other option but to retrack his ways to normalise hie marital relationship and pursue a peaceful life..


Raghu Natrajan

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