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27 February 2010

ROMANCE TIPS- LOVE OUTSIDE MARRIAGE

What drives people to find love out of wedlock? and why?
What prompts people to seek a relationship outside wedlock, putting 
their Family life and image at stake?
Experts say there is no specific reason - some do it for thrill, 
some for pleasure, while others get into extramarital affairs to 
avoid tension at home.
The famous golfer Tiger Woods has tendered apology for 
"irresponsible" behavior in his first reaction to the news,but he 
didn't explain why he got into such relationships.
There are no such rules to define why a person gets emotionally or 
romantically involved after marriage. It varies from individual to 
individual.
A marriage is a marriage and an affair outside marriage is an affair
.It doesn't make any difference whether the partners initially had 
love or an arranged marriage. A lot depends on the changing 
individual psyche and it varies from individual to individual.

An extramarital relationship may be just a casual one for fulfilling
needs of sex or thrill, or it may be a very intense, emotional 
bond. Usually, one would get into such a relationship once he or 
she has given up hope of getting something like love, sex, 
excitement, understanding, appreciation or respect in present 
marriage,say psychiatrist 
"Over the past few months, fights with my wife have become so 
frequent and arguments in the family have hit the roof. I don't 
feel like going home. So I try to work extra hours in office or 
hang out with friends,but I can't do that every day. I need someone 
to talk to, to vent out my thoughts. It is the emotional support 
that I am looking for," said one.Like him, there are many men and 
women, frustrated or tired of their relationships, who are hunting 
for solace in someone's arms.
There are others who have a healthy and happy married life but are 
still seeking adventure through an extramarital relationship.They 
expect a "Kick" from it.
The quest to find the "perfect" partner is one of the major culprits
leading people to extramarital relationships.

Extramarital relationships seem perfect because they are not
spending much time together and get to see only the best in each 
other. The small fights that happen are also brushed aside because 
they want the relationship more than anything else explains 
psychiatrist and add these extramarital relationships are like 
thrillers.There is so much thrill (planning secretly the meeting 
places),mutually guarding of a shared secret, tension (hiding from 
people), jealousy and anger,longing for each other, and wanting 
each other. In the limited time that the two get together,they are 
ready to do anything for each other.This 'thriller' is obviously 
appealing to any bored person.
So,are these extramarital relationships really "unwinding" for a 
person?
There is nothing right or wrong about such relationships.These 
relationships often do a great job of need fulfillment. If handled 
in a mature manner, the relationship will grow into a great 
friendship while they lead their individual lives separately. Is 
there such maturity among us ?.
 
Raghu Natrajan.

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