INCOMPATIBILITY WITHIN FRIENDS WHO MARRY

Can best friends be good life partners?[3Q3S8VKMSBJY] Psychiatrist  say one reason for in compatibility can be that a commitment happens too quickly, bringing along faulty expectations.At the same time it's hard to pinpoint the
ingredients of a perfect marriage,

Good friends can be excellent life partners, but that depends. It is a matter of understanding and
appreciating each other and then building a relationship.Commitment should not happen quickly, bringing along a lot of faulty and undue expectations,

There needs to be a healthy sync between two people for the relationship to become strong and satisfying. If they have a conflicting personality coupled with low levels of tolerance to distress, there would be a greater number of disappointments in the relationship,Say one psychiatrist,who believes that bonding of partners at a physical, emotional and mental level is extremely important.

On the contrary, if partners are able to blend well and appreciate and accept each other well, there is a bigger chance of a smooth and gratifying relationship,
True example:
Mrs X, got married in December to her long-time beau, but after the honeymoon period, the 27-year-old wondered whether she had taken the right decision to marry the person she dated for over nine years."I don't know. I am still confused. Is it that men change after marriage or is it the perspective that changes? The person I knew before marriage has completely changed. I don't understand where the problem lies? Am I too demanding or has he become too casual?" grumbles Mrs X."I wish I could turn back time and get rid of this burden. I don't know what I have put myself into," she added.

Explanation:Very often, we choose to focus only on the brighter side of a relationship and forget to see
the complete picture which might not be so pleasant.It is only later when one takes a complete view of the situation that one may begin to have doubts and confusions and would want to re-evaluate his/her decision.
Both arranged and love marriages have their pros and cons, but it is how flexible one is in contributing to a relationship that matters.However, getting married to a person whom you know for a longer time has its advantages.

There is a basic comfort level in a relationship if you know the person for a long time.If partners have known each other for a long time and have spent enough time to experience each others' moods, temperament and to understand each others' personalities, it will surely give them an edge over those who are complete strangers to each other.

True example:Mrs Y, recently celebrated the silver jubilee of her successful love marriage and shared its recipe.
"There is a lot of give and take in every relationship. In a love marriage, suddenly your priorities shift. All that lovely and flowery life turns upside down when you come face to face with reality. Your expectations from your spouse goes for a toss. You feel that he has changed and vice verse, but that is not the case," explained Mrs Y."In reality, you have to understand your spouse and assure him/her that your love is still the same. Nothing has changed. Adjustment and understanding is the key. There may be small things that will irritate you, but all depends on how dedicated you are towards a relationship to survive," she added.

Raghu Natrajan

ROMANCE TIPS-HOW TO SPOT A CHEATER

Almost 50 to 60 percent of married men[ en3Q3S8VKMSBJY]gage in extramarital sex at one time or another during their relationship, and pitely the women in their lives have no idea. So don't one need to have some basic knowledge to spot him? and protect yourself?

If he has cheated before.
What you sow is what you reap.As the saying goes one with a past cheating behavior is  most likely to cheat in future as well.Past cheating behavior is a reliable predictor for future cheating behavior.

If he is a adamant and unforgiving.
People with these personality traits feel that they’re always right and need not have to explain everything they do. They’re more likely to cheat because they feel they are right in their action don’t have to play by the rules.

If he has no sense of guilt.
Men who don’t feel remorse or guilt when they do something wrong are prime candidates for cheating. They won’t have those emotions to hold them back.

If he’s is prone to lie.
If he is good at lying about other things in his life, then he is likely to cheat you.

If he learned it at home.
If  un- faithfulness runs in his family, then he is more likely to be inclined to cheat.

If he is spending less time with you.
If You’re in the same house but not really together, such as you watch Tv he with computer, or you want to go to bed early while he stays up lats deliberately.If a man is spending less time with you, it doesn’t really mean he has met someone. But Such behavior creates a distance between the two,which becomes a
breeding ground for infidelity.
If he is being less affectionate.
Perhaps he doesn’t cuddle with you in bed anymore. Or he comes to bed fully dressed when he once slept nude. These are all ways of disconnecting and may indicate he is getting his intimacy somewhere else.

If his computer habits have changed.
Check his computer.If there is a  new and secretive email account which he is not willing to share the content of the account with you it becomes more likely and means your significant other is having an affair;

If his cell phone habits have changed.
He suddenly gets a new phone with a password lock, Or  keeps his cell phone in his pocket Or   excuses himself each time the phone rings.

Raghu Natrajan

ROMANCE TIPS - WHAT YOUR SLEEP POSITIONS TELL.

Sleep positions speak volumes about relationship.The body language in bed could be a telling indicator of your emotional status in a relationship.[3Q3S8VKMSBJY]

Let us see some of the main sleep positions and their meaning. If you and your partner lie, having your backs facing each other in bed, then these might just be more than mere sleeping positions.

Full of Lust.

Very cuddled up, with your legs entwined and the erogenous zones snuggled into each other. The meaning: There is loads of passion and sensuality, and you are probably in the honeymoon phase.

The Spoons (him behind)
Both lying on your sides, you showing your back to him. The meaning: He is protective of you.  Beware if you never touch in this sleep position, it may become  platonic.

The Spoons (her behind)
Both lying on your sides, he showing his back to you. The meaning: You are very nurturing and the backbone of the relationship. He is willing to let go of responsibilities and you being his emotional anchor. 

Poles Apart
Your backs face each other.  The meaning: The intimacy is breaking down and you may be too independent of each other. If that suits you both then that's okay, as long as you have intimacy, But be careful in not using this position to shut each other out.

Submissive

One lies on their stomach, their fingertips reaching out to their partner who lies on their back or side. 

The meaning: The partner reaching out is submissive in the relationship - the power lies with the other partner.

Pushed Out
One sprawls in a starfish shape, the other faces away, clinging to the edge of the bed. The meaning: The sprawler dominates your relationship and they might be selfish and unaware of their partner's needs. If you are the one pushed out,ensure you start asserting yourself during the day.
Need You
One lies on their back, the other is cradled in the crook of their arm cuddled up to them. The meaning: The partner on their back provides emotional strength and is happy offering emotional support to the other partner who is more needy.

Mixed Messages
One lies tucked up in the foetal position, facing the other who is flat on his/her back. The meaning: The one in the foetal position needs comfort but feels unable to express their needs to their partner, who is oblivious to their needs.

Identify what is going wrong and start talking about it.

Raghu Natrajan